Time

I'm in a very strange place right now. I've started to feel the pull of life wanting me to move forward. I wonder how much of it is my own insecurities with where I am right now:

• I'm still living at home, which as a recent graduate is not necessarily a bad thing, i just feel like I'm at a stand still of sorts. It is very easy for me to get complacent at home. I settle and I take the easy road, because I can.
• I have really no job to speak of at the moment. A few days here and there in Artistree, and I can make balloon animals (yes, balloon animals) whenever I feel like it, but nothing is putting substantial money in my pocket.
• And, (downer alert) I've been feeling pretty lonely lately. I have the most amazing family. I'm lucky to be so close to them. But I miss having a group of people that I can call "mine". I need my family outside of my family. For so long, Elon filled that hole. But after graduation, we all went our separate ways, some friendships faded. And the ones that didn't fade are still my life; my truest friends are my north star. But even those are hundreds of miles away and I struggle with not having anyone here that I can cling to.
• My career is really going no where here either. I know that it takes patience and perseverence. But in New York, in LA, I would have multiple auditions for things On a weekly basis. Now, I'm lucky to have one every two weeks.

Its time for something to change. Time for me to feel like I'm moving forward. Time for something significant to happen. Time for "the move"? Time for a vacation. Time for something.

I'll let you know when I figure out what it is.

Momentum

It has been a few weeks since I wrapped my first project in Orlando, and only a few days since the private premiere. The finished project of "The Gutter Diaries" was just proof of the amazing talent throughout our cast and crew. Now, we're just waiting for our acceptance in film festivals all around the nation and internationally! The faith that people have in this project is really motivating and exciting.

I spent a couple of months back in North Carolina recently, to be with my Professor and his wife as she fought her battle with pancreatic cancer. Before I left Orlando, I had just gotten the ball rolling on my career. I felt at least a small amount of momentum gaining in my drive as a professional actor in this market. The time I sepnt in NC was time I would never sacrifice for anything and was worth every minute. But when I came back home, I found the momentum was gone and I had to get up and going again. I felt a lack of drive and motivation and was really disappointed in my ability to get the ball rolling once again.

After "The Gutter Diaries" premiere, I am fueled and moving again! The pilot was so well received and has already led to more potential projects. It was just the spark I needed to get my act together (no pun intended) and get back to work again. This week I am getting my website up and running, getting my business cards printed, and am looking at at least one script as a future project.

SO now the goal is to keep this fire burning and continue an active pursuit of this dream of mine. Sky is the limit.

The First

Am definitely new to this "blogging" thing? I'm learning my way around it and trying to hop on the bandwagon of sorts. Thanks to "Julie and Julia" for reviving this artform.

I'm going to use the space to sort out my thoughts I suppose. As an actor, cataloguing my journey from the very beginning/bottom will be interesting. Maybe interesting enough for someone to be interested in reading? But mostly for my own personal sanity. I think I'll say "interesting" one more time before I move on. Ok.

On my last trip back to Elon (my Alma Mater?? WHAT?!?) I spoke to one of the freshman and told her how jealous I was; those four years were absolutely the best of my life (thus far). To be at the beginning of it all again!?? I can only wish. But she looked back at me and said with hope and excitement, "But you are a freshman at LIFE!".

So. Here, I begin my blog. About being Life's freshman. Acting. Living. Working. Breathing. Failing. Succeeding. Searching. Finding. Learning. Loving. Here goes.